Pat10 popular books which you may think you might want to think about possibly reading.
March 19th 2009 11:48
1 - Tea Time for the Traditionally Built
by Alexander McCall Smith
Football team enlists the lady detectives. Basically this book is a complete let-down. You're expecting a gang-bang because why else would a football team enlist the help of lady detectives?! Drab and disappointing - McCall Smith, you son of a bitch.
2 - Born Bad
by Josephine Cox
Man returns to his past to confront his first love. There's no point writing anymore about this because who could have stayed awake throughout that first sentence. Female author to boot - guaranteed failure and I can assure you (from having read this book from front to back) that this book is worthless. 0/10. I sent a rude letter to the publisher with six dead cockroaches in the envelope, stalking charges be damned.
3 - Paths of Glory
by Jeffrey Archer
Based on the life of Mallory and his infamous attempt to climb Everest. Now, maybe I'm at fault here (not likely), but who has ever heard of Mallory and his allegedly infamous attempt (an attempt for crying out loud?!) to climb the Mountain of Everest. This tale of triumph against intelligence and sensible behaviour is a bore to read - don't bother. Jeffrey Archer, I'm very disappointed.
4 - One Day At a Time
by Danielle Steel
The tale of three different but equally loving relationships... and written... by Danielle Steel. I'd just like to welcome the world's homosexuals to this web blog entry who no doubt stumbled upon it by searching for this heinous title.
5 - Rides a Dread Legion
by Raymond E Feist
Have you ever had sex? Yes? Well, this book isn't for you. Pale shut-ins need only apply (I haven't read it yet, and I actually will - no joking [serious]).
6 - Once In a Lifetime
by Cathy Kelly
Closure of a department store threatens those connected to it. Talk about a horrible premise for a piece of literature. It is probably worse than you would even think. Cathy Kelly takes the reader (in this case me, and hopefully not you) on a rollercoaster of pain which you would expect to be quite tame (because it's only a book) but the horror I experienced from reading this was surprisingly 3-dimensional.
7 - The Associate
by John Grisham
A promising legal student destined for a bright future is blackmailed. John Grisham. I'm not going to pretend that I've read a John Grisham book. I have some dignity.
8 - Rumour Has It
by Jill Mansell
Newly single Girl Friday quits London for a fresh start in a small town. Ok, this book wasn't so bad. There was this one scene in the third chapter where the main character has this weird lesbian kind-of connection with a friend of hers and, look I'm not proud about this, but it was enough to get me over the line when the spank bank was otherwise bare. Surprisingly enthralling (for a couple of minutes at least).
9 - Too Close to Home
by Linwood Barclay
The Cutter family face dark truths when their neighbours are murdered. Well, you would, wouldn't you? Linwood is one heck of a name as well for one horrible author. Linwood, no doubt you'll read this and I know that we've had our problems in the past and I know we are trying to work through them - we need to get on with our lives - but I'll always hate you as long as you put out tripe like this. Please send my regards to Lady Barclay.
10 - Keeping the Dead
by Tess Gerritsen
Rizzoli is on the trail of a killer who preserves his victims. What an absolutely uninventive idea in this novel put out by publishing light-weights 'Bantam Press'. Couldn't get past the tenth page before I literally flung this book into the toilet, where it remains to this very day. Not the worst book I've read this year by any means.
xoxo
by Alexander McCall Smith
Football team enlists the lady detectives. Basically this book is a complete let-down. You're expecting a gang-bang because why else would a football team enlist the help of lady detectives?! Drab and disappointing - McCall Smith, you son of a bitch.
2 - Born Bad
by Josephine Cox
Man returns to his past to confront his first love. There's no point writing anymore about this because who could have stayed awake throughout that first sentence. Female author to boot - guaranteed failure and I can assure you (from having read this book from front to back) that this book is worthless. 0/10. I sent a rude letter to the publisher with six dead cockroaches in the envelope, stalking charges be damned.
3 - Paths of Glory
by Jeffrey Archer
Based on the life of Mallory and his infamous attempt to climb Everest. Now, maybe I'm at fault here (not likely), but who has ever heard of Mallory and his allegedly infamous attempt (an attempt for crying out loud?!) to climb the Mountain of Everest. This tale of triumph against intelligence and sensible behaviour is a bore to read - don't bother. Jeffrey Archer, I'm very disappointed.
4 - One Day At a Time
by Danielle Steel
The tale of three different but equally loving relationships... and written... by Danielle Steel. I'd just like to welcome the world's homosexuals to this web blog entry who no doubt stumbled upon it by searching for this heinous title.
5 - Rides a Dread Legion
by Raymond E Feist
Have you ever had sex? Yes? Well, this book isn't for you. Pale shut-ins need only apply (I haven't read it yet, and I actually will - no joking [serious]).
6 - Once In a Lifetime
by Cathy Kelly
Closure of a department store threatens those connected to it. Talk about a horrible premise for a piece of literature. It is probably worse than you would even think. Cathy Kelly takes the reader (in this case me, and hopefully not you) on a rollercoaster of pain which you would expect to be quite tame (because it's only a book) but the horror I experienced from reading this was surprisingly 3-dimensional.
7 - The Associate
by John Grisham
A promising legal student destined for a bright future is blackmailed. John Grisham. I'm not going to pretend that I've read a John Grisham book. I have some dignity.
8 - Rumour Has It
by Jill Mansell
Newly single Girl Friday quits London for a fresh start in a small town. Ok, this book wasn't so bad. There was this one scene in the third chapter where the main character has this weird lesbian kind-of connection with a friend of hers and, look I'm not proud about this, but it was enough to get me over the line when the spank bank was otherwise bare. Surprisingly enthralling (for a couple of minutes at least).
9 - Too Close to Home
by Linwood Barclay
The Cutter family face dark truths when their neighbours are murdered. Well, you would, wouldn't you? Linwood is one heck of a name as well for one horrible author. Linwood, no doubt you'll read this and I know that we've had our problems in the past and I know we are trying to work through them - we need to get on with our lives - but I'll always hate you as long as you put out tripe like this. Please send my regards to Lady Barclay.
10 - Keeping the Dead
by Tess Gerritsen
Rizzoli is on the trail of a killer who preserves his victims. What an absolutely uninventive idea in this novel put out by publishing light-weights 'Bantam Press'. Couldn't get past the tenth page before I literally flung this book into the toilet, where it remains to this very day. Not the worst book I've read this year by any means.
xoxo
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