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A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian

October 9th 2008 10:17
Two Ukrainian sisters living in England argue and fued their way through the family catastrophe of their elderly father falling for a large-breasted (fat) seductress. Relationships between sister and sister, sister and father, other sister and father, father and wife, sister and husband, other sister and ex-husband, both sisters and father’s wife, are all explored and developed in a way in which would get the panties of a housewife frothing after she picked up this drab affair from the discount shelf of the supermarket.

Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian


Executive summary: A Short History of Tractors in Ukrainian by Marina Lewycka is a bad book.

Character overview:

Nadia: Narrator, socialist social worker, one-dimensional and boring.

Vera: Older sister of Nadia, basically the free-market version of her younger sister, but even more one-dimensional and boring if that’s possible. Extent of her character development is that she once had a divorce and she dresses fashionably.

Nikolai: Father of the two above ungratefuls, admirer of large breasts and mad rooter for an old bloke. Best thing about the book because he does everything he can to ‘get some’ to the point of giving away all his cash and worldly belongings and doesn’t regret it for a second until his two meddling daughters decide that the poor fellow is having too much of a good time in his twilight years. A figure of sorrow and a convincing lesson as to why having children is a woeful idea.

Valentina: Big tits, fat and foreign. That’s about it.

And so forth. The other men of the book don’t really rate a mention because they just sort of hang about in the background, drink the occasional pint of beer, do something in an endearingly incompetent way and generally don’t interfere with the alpha-females.

Annoyingly, the author insists on inserting passages literally about the history of tractors in the Ukraine which are excerpts from a book which is being written by the father character. I skipped each and every single one of these excerpts and surely there was some kind of literary effect intended by the author, but it was lost on poor, old impatient me.

Amongst a generally positive raft of reviews, The Guardian’s Andrey Kurkov said:

“The novel is not so much written as constructed, and the same can be said of the characters. Just about everyone portrayed in it inspires the sympathy of the reader except the Ukrainians, legal and illegal. What we see are caricatures.”

Yeah, basically Andrey, and also you forgot to say that the book sucked. Eight thumbs down. Only read this book if you are menstruating, or you are a male who is interested in experiencing something akin to menstruation.

And here’s a legitimate review of this book by another Orble user, and to be quite honest that review makes me dry retch (sorry to the author of that review, whoever you are):

Really Long Link

For a better review (once again, I’m sorry mysterious Orble friend), click on this:

Really Long Link
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